My joy in life seems to be depended on earthly values (most of the time) rather than focused on God. I need to get back with God. It feels like the fire inside of me is slowly flaming. Its almost bURNT OUT. School definitely keeps my mind more focused on NON nonsense.. well sometimes. lol. I feel like I'm getting lazy everyday. I am slowly turning away from reading the Bible. I don't pray as much as I should. I hope to find someone who is ON FIRE for God as my future husband. :) I hope that he will always bring me closer into wanting to be in God's presence. That would be sweet. Christmas presents have spoiled me..Especially the Money.
Today, my BFF was telling me she'd rather recieve a hug or kiss and a card rather than money. She said with money, its more difficult to humble herself before the Lord. She wants to remember His blessings that He gave her. But, its quite difficult to do that if you have a lot of money. And that reminds me of in the Bible, it says, "Matt 23 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven." So its better to be poor, so you can remember God's blessings and keep in mind who the Lord is. Who was the one that provides me food and clothing to wear..
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Gentlemen?
So, boys. Especially the boys at my C.
Most of these boys, I've grown up with since I was an iddy biddy kid.
I barely even talk/speak/ and any form of communication or physical contact with them. But, there's this kid who is new to my C..
he actually talks to me.
And wants to get to know me.
I should feel happy because there's someone who is a boy, that wants to get to know me and appreciates my presence.
He is truly a gentleman.
The other boys whom I've known all my life..
the vibe I recieve is:
I don't care about anything (well not all the time)
or I'm too shy to talk to you.
or I don't want to talk to you because I'm afriad of what people will think.
This dude doesn't do that.
He just goes for the goal=something I like. :)
Most of these boys, I've grown up with since I was an iddy biddy kid.
I barely even talk/speak/ and any form of communication or physical contact with them. But, there's this kid who is new to my C..
he actually talks to me.
And wants to get to know me.
I should feel happy because there's someone who is a boy, that wants to get to know me and appreciates my presence.
He is truly a gentleman.
The other boys whom I've known all my life..
the vibe I recieve is:
I don't care about anything (well not all the time)
or I'm too shy to talk to you.
or I don't want to talk to you because I'm afriad of what people will think.
This dude doesn't do that.
He just goes for the goal=something I like. :)
Monday, December 20, 2010
Gifts
Today, I opened up my Promise Bible. & found a saying:
"Don't give something you want for yourself. Don't give because you HAVE to. Give because you truly want to give."
It wasn't exactly like that.But along those lines.
It made me really think about who I need to HAVE TO give presents to..but not really. Its all from the heart. The gifts that I want to give, I want it to be because I want to see the other person happy. Not that I feel pressured to. And I've decided if I want to keep their gift, I'm going to keep it. Unless there is two. Then I might just have to buy both. I'm going to actually think about it before buying. Because I don't want to live life with regrets. I don't want to cause pain to anyone or myself. I just hope to live in peace and be an encouraging person. I just want to buy or give something helpful..perhaps something that will alleviate someone else's pain. I think that is always the best thing.
You know that just made me think..
since I enjoy alleviating other's pain and want to make their lives easier, I'm going to go into something that includes helpign others. The choices that come to mind are:
-doctor. requires a heck load of schooling..
-nurse. " "
-music therapy.
-counselor? eh i don't know about that..
-ministry...
-realtor
-2 b continued
"Don't give something you want for yourself. Don't give because you HAVE to. Give because you truly want to give."
It wasn't exactly like that.But along those lines.
It made me really think about who I need to HAVE TO give presents to..but not really. Its all from the heart. The gifts that I want to give, I want it to be because I want to see the other person happy. Not that I feel pressured to. And I've decided if I want to keep their gift, I'm going to keep it. Unless there is two. Then I might just have to buy both. I'm going to actually think about it before buying. Because I don't want to live life with regrets. I don't want to cause pain to anyone or myself. I just hope to live in peace and be an encouraging person. I just want to buy or give something helpful..perhaps something that will alleviate someone else's pain. I think that is always the best thing.
You know that just made me think..
since I enjoy alleviating other's pain and want to make their lives easier, I'm going to go into something that includes helpign others. The choices that come to mind are:
-doctor. requires a heck load of schooling..
-nurse. " "
-music therapy.
-counselor? eh i don't know about that..
-ministry...
-realtor
-2 b continued
Friday, December 10, 2010
EGO
EGO=Edging God Out.
Definition of EGO: Selfish; don't think of others.
This is hard to avoid.. sometimes.
When I do something good and someone praises me, I usually just accept it. But, I need to learn to acknowledge it was God or it was __fill in the blank__. I have to learn that I can't take all the credit. I usually do acknowledge people for whatever they contributed. But, then in my mind, there are those times where I think highly of myself. Many times I feel like I'm in my own little world. I pretend that there is nothign wrong in my world. That there aren't poor people. Or that they will get their needs met somehow. The war going on, I am practically oblivious of everything going on around me. I don't know what happens on the news..whether fires are burnign, or kids getting shot. Because I don't watch the news. Even when yahoo/msn messenger presents me with a strip of the news, I don't click it. I just concentrate on hw, piano, eating, and filling my happiness. It seems as if I dont' care about anything. Okay so maybe I don't. Its not that I don't want to, I rarely take the time to think about it..then go into action in changing it. The thoughts that might run thruogh my head are I can't do anything. I'm weak. I won't be able to change the world even if I tried..
But the truth is I can. The only reason why I can't is because I think I can't. I know that I can make a difference. To serve others. I joined clubs that serve. Like Key Club, The one time I felt accomplished, was at the Toy Distribution. I helped families (poor) pick out presents for their kids. It was tedious but I definitely felt good afterwards. I hope this year we do something like that again. (: Or maybe serve food. I dont' know but I know that Service is a good thing. God made us to serve others, not only ourselves. To give up the selfish of yourself is the only way to create treasure in Heaven. Its always better to store up treasure in Heaven than on Earth where rust, and moths can ruin them and thieves can steal them. I want to serve others.
This leads me to think about the season of giving. I am so excited about giving those presents to everyone. I hope to go Christmas shopping and get everyone at least a little something. :) I love seeing people's faces light up when they open their gift. I am so happy I finally understand the true meaning of giving. WHen I was younger, I always thought recieving presents was the best thing. Because you are surprised and you don't have to spend moeny to get it. its FREE.!! but now I realize that its not all about money. You can't take money with you when you die. Why not bless someone else and show them God's love for everyone? Its amazing to feel his love. I want to spread it..but I have not been baptized through the Holy Spirit.. This is a goal I have had since kids camp. I felt like I was going to on Wednesday..but I didn't let myself. I know that if I had let myself just pray outloud and stop being self concious of myself it would have.
The only gift I want this year is to be baptized in the HOly Spirit. And I pray that everyone else wants this too. I can't imagine how much my life would be different. This year has been a great year and all but I know there is something out there bigger.. I am ready for it I think. :)
Thank you Lord Jesus for your Love. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for the temptations that bring me closer to you. Thank you for understanding me and being by my side. Thank you for not ditching me for another. Thank you for entering my heart. Thank you for the beautiful YOU! =D
Definition of EGO: Selfish; don't think of others.
This is hard to avoid.. sometimes.
When I do something good and someone praises me, I usually just accept it. But, I need to learn to acknowledge it was God or it was __fill in the blank__. I have to learn that I can't take all the credit. I usually do acknowledge people for whatever they contributed. But, then in my mind, there are those times where I think highly of myself. Many times I feel like I'm in my own little world. I pretend that there is nothign wrong in my world. That there aren't poor people. Or that they will get their needs met somehow. The war going on, I am practically oblivious of everything going on around me. I don't know what happens on the news..whether fires are burnign, or kids getting shot. Because I don't watch the news. Even when yahoo/msn messenger presents me with a strip of the news, I don't click it. I just concentrate on hw, piano, eating, and filling my happiness. It seems as if I dont' care about anything. Okay so maybe I don't. Its not that I don't want to, I rarely take the time to think about it..then go into action in changing it. The thoughts that might run thruogh my head are I can't do anything. I'm weak. I won't be able to change the world even if I tried..
But the truth is I can. The only reason why I can't is because I think I can't. I know that I can make a difference. To serve others. I joined clubs that serve. Like Key Club, The one time I felt accomplished, was at the Toy Distribution. I helped families (poor) pick out presents for their kids. It was tedious but I definitely felt good afterwards. I hope this year we do something like that again. (: Or maybe serve food. I dont' know but I know that Service is a good thing. God made us to serve others, not only ourselves. To give up the selfish of yourself is the only way to create treasure in Heaven. Its always better to store up treasure in Heaven than on Earth where rust, and moths can ruin them and thieves can steal them. I want to serve others.
This leads me to think about the season of giving. I am so excited about giving those presents to everyone. I hope to go Christmas shopping and get everyone at least a little something. :) I love seeing people's faces light up when they open their gift. I am so happy I finally understand the true meaning of giving. WHen I was younger, I always thought recieving presents was the best thing. Because you are surprised and you don't have to spend moeny to get it. its FREE.!! but now I realize that its not all about money. You can't take money with you when you die. Why not bless someone else and show them God's love for everyone? Its amazing to feel his love. I want to spread it..but I have not been baptized through the Holy Spirit.. This is a goal I have had since kids camp. I felt like I was going to on Wednesday..but I didn't let myself. I know that if I had let myself just pray outloud and stop being self concious of myself it would have.
The only gift I want this year is to be baptized in the HOly Spirit. And I pray that everyone else wants this too. I can't imagine how much my life would be different. This year has been a great year and all but I know there is something out there bigger.. I am ready for it I think. :)
Thank you Lord Jesus for your Love. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for the temptations that bring me closer to you. Thank you for understanding me and being by my side. Thank you for not ditching me for another. Thank you for entering my heart. Thank you for the beautiful YOU! =D
Thursday, December 2, 2010
HOPE Church
I've ALWAYS wanted to go to a Wednesday Night Church service somewhere other than our church.
Hopeful. Happy.
Open-minded
People. Public.
Energetic.
Church is PERFECT for ME!
It has AMAZING & UPLIFITING MUSIC! I love how you can worship and not feel judged. I love how people are so INTO the lyrics. There's some dancing. A majority lift their hands up high. And, you just feel welcomed! I love the way the Pastor relates to me. And he knows what he is talking about. He is funny at times even though he doesn't mean to. I love it! :D
I'm really thankful that Darla and Phil invited me to go. :) So there was a purpose for that one bad day at their house..
I HOPE to go every single Wednesday Night that HOPE has service!
I want to learn a lot from them and be able to apply HIS WORD to my LiFE.
I'd really like to share what they do at their church to our church.
That'd be sweeT ACTiON! FO'SHO! >:D
The main message I learned yesterday is:
It doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, you will be used by God.
Even if you are the weakest person and have no experienced.
Because JUSt as Jesus was able to tame the unridden little donkey,
He will be able to tame and ride on us. So that He will be in control. LiKE he SHOULD be already. =D
This related to my ENglish class because we were reading something about tradition. There was a group of English villages which kept the tradition of stoning people (sacrificing them which will lead to good harvest). After I read it, I'm like wtf? But, they like to keep tradition..and the Pastor at HOPE was saying, We need to be set Loose, not hold onto Mama. Don't keep tradition of being tied on. And I was like..wow. I get it.
And it also relates to Spanish. I had to show and tell EN ESPANOL in front of my classmates about a sport. The sport I chose was Salsa club. Lol. I was kinda nervous about it and prepared the best I could before Service. ANd the Pastor, told his own personal experience which was that when he was in high school/colllege, he could not even peep a word out..basically scared to talk. (like me) I was in awe of how God used his weakness and made him STRONG today. It gave me a lot more faith to here about his Experience. I felt really happy last night because I could see FINALLY. My eyes were suddenly OPENED to who and what God is all about. It makes me want to LOVE him even more. For not choosing naturally brilliant people, instead the weakest to rise and be STRONG to GlORIFY HIM! <3 & on top of that, it was MOUSEY'S birthday! I'm really glad we got to chill! It felt like our first time chilling in a Church. haaha. But, yes indeed It was Chill yesterday! :D
Hopeful. Happy.
Open-minded
People. Public.
Energetic.
Church is PERFECT for ME!
It has AMAZING & UPLIFITING MUSIC! I love how you can worship and not feel judged. I love how people are so INTO the lyrics. There's some dancing. A majority lift their hands up high. And, you just feel welcomed! I love the way the Pastor relates to me. And he knows what he is talking about. He is funny at times even though he doesn't mean to. I love it! :D
I'm really thankful that Darla and Phil invited me to go. :) So there was a purpose for that one bad day at their house..
I HOPE to go every single Wednesday Night that HOPE has service!
I want to learn a lot from them and be able to apply HIS WORD to my LiFE.
I'd really like to share what they do at their church to our church.
That'd be sweeT ACTiON! FO'SHO! >:D
The main message I learned yesterday is:
It doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, you will be used by God.
Even if you are the weakest person and have no experienced.
Because JUSt as Jesus was able to tame the unridden little donkey,
He will be able to tame and ride on us. So that He will be in control. LiKE he SHOULD be already. =D
This related to my ENglish class because we were reading something about tradition. There was a group of English villages which kept the tradition of stoning people (sacrificing them which will lead to good harvest). After I read it, I'm like wtf? But, they like to keep tradition..and the Pastor at HOPE was saying, We need to be set Loose, not hold onto Mama. Don't keep tradition of being tied on. And I was like..wow. I get it.
And it also relates to Spanish. I had to show and tell EN ESPANOL in front of my classmates about a sport. The sport I chose was Salsa club. Lol. I was kinda nervous about it and prepared the best I could before Service. ANd the Pastor, told his own personal experience which was that when he was in high school/colllege, he could not even peep a word out..basically scared to talk. (like me) I was in awe of how God used his weakness and made him STRONG today. It gave me a lot more faith to here about his Experience. I felt really happy last night because I could see FINALLY. My eyes were suddenly OPENED to who and what God is all about. It makes me want to LOVE him even more. For not choosing naturally brilliant people, instead the weakest to rise and be STRONG to GlORIFY HIM! <3 & on top of that, it was MOUSEY'S birthday! I'm really glad we got to chill! It felt like our first time chilling in a Church. haaha. But, yes indeed It was Chill yesterday! :D
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